May 10, 2010
One inch more around the middle
Well it's happened.
I never thought it would happen.
I am still in a little disbelief that it has happened.
I still think it will go away. Probably.
My pants are too tight.
That's right ladies and gentlemen I have gained actual weight enough that when I sit down I have to undo the top button of my pants. It's astonishing, amazing and crazy. I mean sure, ok, I'm 40 but seriously, I haven't change pant sizes in around 15 years. 32/30 that's my size and yep, it's now about to go to 33. Insane.
Is the thickening commencing? I don't know... maybe it's just bloating but this has been going on for awhile now so perhaps I have to face facts: I've gained weight. I can almost bet that this summer with the boys will take the weight off but who knows... I don't tend to go backwards, only forwards :)
April 20, 2010
8 years of blather
So come July 17th I'll have been 'blogging' for 8 years.
Ok so not really, because in the last couple years I've been just putting things up every blue moon, very random. Not the fairly well thought out posts I used to do back in say... 2004/2005 when this blogging thing was all the rage.
I am curious about how many other blogs have remained after all of these years, I noticed some on my blogroll are still there, but most are blank, or like mine rarely updated. It's sad when the only posts on a blog are comments on the fact they don't really do it anymore.
8 years, wow, that's about a year before my first was born. So much to talk about during those years, new exciting, frustrating and scary times. Not that those same scary, exciting and frustrating times aren't still happening but not to the extreme that they were during Xavier's first year or 2, or Tristan, or even Griffin's birth. So I guess that sort of explains the lull.
I used to blog about the shitty job I had, the news, some environmental tirade, inlaws, crappy cars... My job for the past 6 years has been going good, everyone else reads the news and I feel like there's no use blogging about the environment anymore it just makes me too sad. So now I lament about not blogging in long drawn out posts about the past.
Who knows though right? It's still here (surprisingly) so that means I can resume any time right? :)
January 30, 2010
I send this note into the din
I send this note into the din
in hope that one ear hears.
In hope that one mind listens
and one soul agrees.
I send these notes into the din
as messages into the abyss,
knowing they will not return,
cemented in their status.
I send these songs into the din
as tiny shards of my mirror.
Messages of hope or fear,
of sadness or glory or pain.
I send this note into the din
upon it's tightrope of taste.
In hopes to etch itself
into a pleasant fleeting memory.
October 07, 2009
Cold blue glow
and hum of the fluorescent,
drone of fans and click of keys.
Squelching, squashing, pushing back,
anything but the norm.
Logical, predictable, calculable,
these are acceptable.
Gradually recessing the notes
in my head, with facts, news,
the here and now.
Where is the desire?
The new and creative patterns,
the excitement of the composition,
of the performance, of the creation?
Perhaps the resistance to normality
has slowly eroded.
Perhaps my age, my status,
this province, all are conspiring
to bring me down to their level.
Perhaps it's time itself,
constantly resisting my urges,
my insistence on more minutes,
more hours to my day.
Perhaps it's my own laziness;
to continue the three lives
I may have to split myself in two.
October 01, 2009
Facebook: Blog Killer
I was looking into the past today, at a blog that once was thriving and rich with mostly inane, sometimes funny and on the very odd day insightful postings about stuff and junk... and things.
And then a couple years ago Facebook came along, with it's quick gratification of access, feeding the distracted brain with quips and one liners. Instantly knowing that your friend is on the can, laughing at the TV, just broke up with his cat, smells like yesterdays diapers... you know the drill.
And now, 2009 is here and this is the 3rd post of the year. 3rd post! I used to post every day or so, is it that my life is any less interesting? Possibly. Is it that my life is more hectic and I don't have time? Could be... OR it could be that I'm too busy checking what my 200+ friends are doing to be bothered to live a life of my own.
Facebook: the only social application that makes you feel more alone than ever.... because you realize even though you are familiar with everyone there, you really don't know them and they really don't know you. Do you see me setting endless dinner/coffee/movie/etc. dates for me and my wife to go out? No. Are we having epic parties with this plethora of friends I claim to have? No. Hardly. We're just the same as we were before, but even worse because now I realize that I do know a lot people, it's just that I make no effort to socialize with them.
Well I'm changing this, at least the blogging part. I still won't be the outgoing socialite I was in college/university etc. but at least I'll be writing about my sad little life.
September 30, 2009
Let's see if I remember how to do this thing.
Blog... yes... umm... blog....
Right! Er... I mean Write!!
It's amazing that this thing still exists and doubly amazing that it isn't completely filled with spam comments! I painstakingly deleted a bunch, but I've seen many more on other mu.nu blogs.
edit - ok so I spoke too soon... craploads of spam comments I have to delete.
What's new... what's new... well not a tremendous amount, we're about 80% done updating the look of our living room, leather sofa loveseat and chair, laminate flooring, paint and possibly a new wall unit coming up. It's been an interesting journey and it's going to get more interesting being that our house is a bi-level with vaulted ceiling. Once you start the living room you have to continue to the kitchen or it looks weird. As it is now our living room looks nice but I look at the cupboards, appliances etc. in the kitchen and they look drab and dated. Slippery slope, it seems.
Still playing the latin music, posted some videos on youtube ... check them out -
Oorgo on Youtube
The kids are growing like weeds, bad weeds. Xavier is in grade 2 now, Griffin is on his way to being on his way to someday being able to go to pre-school. The potty training battle wages on and right now he's winning.
My lovely wife bought a new laptop, she's very happy, she made enough money off 2 garage sales to purchase it. It's shiny, has 3 GB of ram, T4200 dualcore processor, 320 GB Hard drive and a pretty 16" screen. Facebook and Bejewelled never looked so good. :)
February 10, 2009
You better start swimmin'
This is a scary and exciting time to be living in, many choices made now will affect our children, their children, and the ability for us to maintain our residence here on this world and perhaps our existence as a race.
After watching this series of videos regarding the world economy called Crash Course by Chris Martenson I think this timely and important song must be read word for word.
Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.
Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.
The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.
The Times They Are A-Changin
December 23, 2008
Merry Christmas or whatever you celebratemas!
Once again, wow... life lag... almost 5 months since I posted something, anything!
Every year at this time I look around and wonder how I got here. Not in a sort of "Whoa, dude... like ... how much did I DRINK last night" got here, more of a life path, choices made, etc. etc.. I've always taken to the path of chaos, let the road choose me instead of I choose the road. When opportunities come I pause to consider them, sometimes I pause too long and good things pass me by, but that pause is usually instinct kicking in, disbelief, or my built in skepticism. Anyways I am rapidly going down the old path of self diagnosis and I'll stop there.
Winter 2008 seemed to be going well, job is enjoyable as jobs go, people I work with are great, the family is doing well, kids are getting bigger, as they tend to do. But then my boss read a letter from the Alberta Medical Association about a proposal from Alberta Health and Wellness that screwed all that up. Apparently our government in all of it's wisdom and greed and power hunger has decided to try and lure our EMR clients away to their chosen EMR software providers by giving them a big fat $20K bonus (per doctor). That's right, bonus. Nothing to do with setup costs, that's already provided for, nothing to do with anything, just "Here's $20K for your troubles".
Over the past couple years POSP has been trying to thin the crop of EMR providers by forcing us to jump through their insane hoops. Last year they came up with an RFP that was attainable by us, and we were well on our way to being compatible. Suddenly they decide "You don't have this this this and this feature" ... which is a lie, and they pick 3 vendors, all 3 from outside Alberta, one of which is actually affiliated with Alberta Medical Association!! None of which have fared very well vs. clinic staff/doctor opinion polls.
Do you think this will make a difference to doctors though? They'll take the $20K, switch over, put up with the new software until it drives them and their staff around the bend, then they'll be back. But in that time the other vendors in the province will lose real money, all because our government is a bunch of power hungry idiots. The only reason the $20K is being offered is because they've had ZERO interest in the 3 vendors, so they being the stubborn egomaniacs they are, are pushing forward no matter what. No matter how much it costs Albertans, or Alberta companies, no matter if we are in a recession, they are throwing millions of dollars at doctors to get them to use software they don't even want.
In Ontario EMR vendors, if they want to sell EMR have to pay money every so often to go through testing to make sure they are up to the Ontario medical standards. It's going well, it's still competitive, and they have multiple vendors. Why is it that the Alberta government has gone the way of the fascists and are trying to control and/or damage local businesses?
July 30, 2008
A note to my American friends
Here's an article that you should read by a very competent source, a blog I've been reading since not long after the Iraq War started, by a reporter named Christopher Allbritton who has been there pretty much from day one.
Anyways, he brought to light Randy Scheunemann, Senator McCain's chief foreign policy strategist and spokesman. Have a read, I don't want to tarnish it with my Canadian ignorance on U.S. politics. Suffice it to say if I knew that dude was influencing my candidate for office I would have second thoughts about voting for said candidate.
So just to let you all know, in the future, don't take pictures of shoddy built schools which collapsed killing children and students, next to solid built buildings that are still intact, at least not in China anyways. Apparently by doing the above and then posting the pictures on the internet, accusing the builders of shoddy work and local officials of collusion, you will be taken without warning to serve up to four years of re-education without trial or formal charge. Your family will receive a re-education notice with your signature and fingerprints, but with no reference on how long you will be gone.
What happened to you, China? You used to be cool. Ok that's a lie, everyone knows there are human tragedies that are going on there, the lack of human rights and fascist iron fist rule. One thing the Olympics have done is opened China up to criticism, I don't really think they considered all the effects a world event would have on the wall. You really can't hide things as much as before, the wall is crumbling all around you, China, welcome to the 21st century of information.
July 17, 2008
I'm pretty excited, get to see a Latin band tomorrow night, La Sonora Carruseles from Colombia, they've never been here, let alone western Canada so it's a pretty big thing. Our band does covers of a few of their songs, of course not as great as this one but hey... we try.
So anyways with every good thing of course comes bad, I have tickets for both Amber and I to go, we asked her mom back in January to babysit for us and she said yes. We've reminded her many many times since then and she's said 'no problem'. Well then a week or so ago, indirectly we find out her and Sam are going to Halifax for a week or so and it just HAPPENS to be at the same time as the concert. Yet another example of her family letting her down, it just seems to never end. I'd like to say thanks to her for letting us know, at the time we thought we would have to either sell the ticket or get someone else to go and Amber gets to stay home. Luckily our friend Dan agreed to go, perhaps it could have been the pictures of the attendees in the facebook event, :).
July 09, 2008
50% by 2050
Yeah, that's right, 42 years, to bring down CO2 in the atmosphere to 2005 levels. Hold on, hasn't it pretty much been agreed upon by everyone that we need to be actually around 1987 levels or 350 ppm concentration? I don't even want to think about what that CO2 graph will look like in 42 years. (edit)Wait, now Harper wants the developing countries to should a large portion of the burden of lowering emissions, right, because North Americans per capita, pollute 5 to 6 times as much as most developing countries, and we have the money to fix the problem.
I want to be a politician and make lofty (yet still inadequate) goals at the end of my career for the next guy in line to follow, I really do. Or better yet, when they ask you later in life as you're sitting in the expensive restaurant drinking 50 year old scotch you can say "I tried, I really did, but there's no accounting for
These guys are putting on a show because the public is concerned about climate change. It's an old tactic of conservative governments, make it look like you're doing something, like you care, so the populace goes back to their reality and jack-ass style TV shows; "Nothing to see folks, we're acting in your best interest". You can also bet that the lazy populace will go back and think 'Hyuk! Mah guvermnt is doin' stuff, so I don't have to! BRING ON the Monster trucks!"
This is sort of going off topic but I personally don't want to live in Alberta when the walls come crashing down. The rapid entrenchment of greed and scrambling for oil at the expense of everything else is sickening. I believe that so much is hidden about the impact of the oil sands that when the truth and environmental horror stories come out it's going to be a tale of destruction and woe. The big money is here and it's squelching the truth, and the residents don't want to / won't believe it or share it because it will affect their economic well-being.
Nature in northern Alberta seems endless, the trees and bush seem to go on forever, if you're from there it's easy to think that it's never going to end. That you are in a remote area and your actions won't affect others, or no one will find out. Take the death of all those ducks in the spring, do you actually think this is the first time this has happened? Probably the first time it was actually reported, but I can bet it's been going on since they first created those toxic ponds.
May 27, 2008
Hi, My Name is Dave and I'm an Addict
I'm addicted to music. And Coffee. And video games that deal with D&D/Space/Fantasy... anything where grinding is involved and I can get into an emotional attachment to my character. Oh and sex.. yeah sex... that's the good stuff.
My music addiction is a funny one, it sits in the background, in the depths of my psyche, not being obvious until I haven't been practicing for a while. It comes on gradually: a day or 2 is fine but much past that I start getting owly, lashing out for no good reason and then gradually drifting into depressed. If it goes on too long it will get more and more difficult to pull out of the funk, I will have to actually perform somewhere, or play with someone else to jolt my system. Even worse is if I AM practicing but have no venue or ability to perform, like when I was living at home in St. Paul after college for a year.
Coffee? Well yeah, it's an addiction that I don't like to admit: chemical addiction to caffeine. I go w/o coffee until 1 or 2 pm and I start getting a nasty headache that nothing will fix, not tylenol, ibuprofen, codeine, nothing but coffee. Even coke doesn't have the fix in it enough to ease the pain.
Gaming? Well that's pretty obvious to most that have read any posts here. Escape into a world where I have kickass powers and no worries about everyday things like bills, bill collectors, housework, yardwork, world issues. I can maim and slaughter or sneak and stab, let out that pent up aggression. But gaming leads to the shame spiral. You play for a couple hours, it feels good until you stop and realize you spent 2 hours and did nothing of any real benefit to anyone. In fact you wasted 2 hours that you could have spent doing something that would give you positive feedback from say: your family, your own self (i.e. cleaning), your peers (practicing/working on your trade). So then the next time you play you are hiding from the stuff you should have done last time, and once again it's fun while it lasts, but the guilt just keeps getting worse, and pretty soon the self-loathing come into play, along with lowered self-esteem. I have stopped this futile practice, it has cost me years of my life.
Sex addiction? Well maybe that's just not getting enough... oh wait... no I didn't say that... I did NOT say that... if any one asks, it was not me.
Why did I make this post? I don't know... maybe I'm happy I've bypassed an addiction, blocked it at the root, squashed it into the dark recesses. Maybe I posted this because I know others doing the same thing right now, existing without improving. Hiding from their problems with a fake sword and a powerful spell, or a gun and a car, or a spaceship and a corporation of like-minded folk.
May 05, 2008
When you get married and have decide, or accidentally have a child, then 3 more children, shouldn't (and I know this sounds a little far fetched) you're priorities lie with those children? As a parent isn't it a major goal that your children get a quality education, upbringing, a home that resembles stability and loving attention? Apparently not to my sister-in-law.
My sister-in-law got pregnant before getting married at a fairly young age and apparently did not sample enough fruit so now after 4 kids ranging from ages 12 to 4 she's blinked and that all is a distant memory, she's getting divorced, already has a full-time boyfriend and is using her husband as a baby sitter while she fools around on him.
Back in November I started to wonder, because she went on this crash diet where she can only eat certain things and she gets shots of b12 once a month. I thought to myself 'Why now? What's so different and urgent to lose weight so quickly?'. We found out pretty soon why, she asked her husband for a divorce I think it was 3 months later. So she thinks she looks hot now so she can lure another unsuspecting prey into paying for her extravagant needs.
Not even a month after the divorce proceedings started she was talking about going clubbing, bar crawls, she went on a singles ski retreat for the weekend. All the while her husband and mother are looking after the kids, her mother has enabled this the whole time, taking the kids on a brief notice for days because "She needs this" "It's pedicure day, or Spa Day" ... ffs.
It just keeps getting better though, last weekend she brought her new boyfriend, with the kids, up to meet her Dad for the day. 8 hrs of driving in 1 day, most likely because they had some party to go to, or some 'Alone time' at his apartment.
Yesterday we went over to her mothers for a birthday party, she was dressed as if she hadn't gotten home, still in a black night-club dress, makeup etc. She probably went home, picked up the kids and went to her moms. It's a family gathering, most the people were there in blue jeans and t-shirts.
I can't understand how anyone could be so selfish, her excuse for divorce? "He's been talking to a woman online and compared me to her". Seriously, that was her excuse, really it was, I'm not kidding.
I want to meet the man that is willing to take on 4 children and a high maintenance woman. I think her little fairytale is going to burst soon, reality will appear, kick her in the ass, or hopefully her husband will grow some and take the kids away. I know one thing, her mother would never say anything, she can do no wrong and besides, in her mother's words "Every thing's fine, she'll be fine, it'll be all fine".
February 28, 2008
Alberta Election 2008
So here we are again in Alberta, the reigning conservative party calling an election, the other parties scrambling to get noticed by a populace that has voted like zombies for 37 (?) years. PC after PC after PC has been in power, and we just got rid of the bloated Ralph Klein who everyone wrongly credits for bringing Alberta out of debt. Sorry people, that was the out-of-country companies raping our natural resources that pulled us out of debt.
We have what appears to me to be an incompetent untrustworthy nincompoop in power, a guy who said to the oil companies 'Ok, we're changing the royalties, you guys aren't giving us enough of the pie' and then aboiut a month later reversed his stance, backing down. NO spine. Then there is the so-called opposition poorly underfunded with a ridiculously unseen campaign (so few ads I don't think I've seen one on tv). I like these guys, I really do, their leader seems very competent, personable and they have a good platform, but if you don't show your face on the most popular media (tv) then you're dooming yourself.
On the other side is an NDP leader that seems to me to be a little overzealous and focused more on what wrong things the gov't is doing, then offering up drastic change (Albertans as you can see can't handle drastic change). Oh yeah and a party called the 'Wildrose Alliance' party ... yeah... I watched this dude on the debate and the words that came to mind are 'creepy, backwoods and a little insane'. He made nasty comments on 'the government can never bla bla bla' well dude... if you got into power wouldn't YOU be the government?!
Alberta elections always exasperate me, because you just KNOW that the status quo will reign supreme, you KNOW that the grandparents and business people are out there in zombie voting mode... derrrr... my parents and their parents voted this way... don't give me none a' that change boy.... derrr...
Please, if anyone actually reads this go and vote for someone other than the PC party... It's about time.