Cold blue glow
and hum of the fluorescent,
drone of fans and click of keys.
Squelching, squashing, pushing back,
anything but the norm.
Logical, predictable, calculable,
common, typical,
these are acceptable.
Gradually recessing the notes
in my head, with facts, news,
the here and now.
Where is the desire?
The new and creative patterns,
the excitement of the composition,
of the performance, of the creation?
Perhaps the resistance to normality
has slowly eroded.
Perhaps my age, my status,
this province, all are conspiring
to bring me down to their level.
Perhaps it's time itself,
constantly resisting my urges,
my insistence on more minutes,
more hours to my day.
Perhaps it's my own laziness;
to continue the three lives
I may have to split myself in two.
I was looking into the past today, at a blog that once was thriving and rich with mostly inane, sometimes funny and on the very odd day insightful postings about stuff and junk... and things.
And then a couple years ago Facebook came along, with it's quick gratification of access, feeding the distracted brain with quips and one liners. Instantly knowing that your friend is on the can, laughing at the TV, just broke up with his cat, smells like yesterdays diapers... you know the drill.
And now, 2009 is here and this is the 3rd post of the year. 3rd post! I used to post every day or so, is it that my life is any less interesting? Possibly. Is it that my life is more hectic and I don't have time? Could be... OR it could be that I'm too busy checking what my 200+ friends are doing to be bothered to live a life of my own.
Facebook: the only social application that makes you feel more alone than ever.... because you realize even though you are familiar with everyone there, you really don't know them and they really don't know you. Do you see me setting endless dinner/coffee/movie/etc. dates for me and my wife to go out? No. Are we having epic parties with this plethora of friends I claim to have? No. Hardly. We're just the same as we were before, but even worse because now I realize that I do know a lot people, it's just that I make no effort to socialize with them.
Well I'm changing this, at least the blogging part. I still won't be the outgoing socialite I was in college/university etc. but at least I'll be writing about my sad little life.