April 25, 2006

Some slight pulling and tugging

I'm officially neutered, sterilized, whatever you want to call it. It really felt like a spay clinic in the dayward of the hospital, you walk in and there are a bunch of guys sitting around trying to not make eye contact or laughing nervously, and then watching with big eyes the victims..er ... patients try to hobble all nonchalant. If you've ever dropped your pet off at a spay clinic you'll know what I mean.

I have a couple of tips for those planning about going under the knife:

  1. Don't believe them when they say it doesn't hurt, or all you will feel are some tugs and pulls. Not if you apparently need more anesthetic than most, and they miss an area. One word: Cauterization. It felt like somebody plugged a 9 volt battery onto one of my boys: electric shooting pain.
  2. Have someone drive you there and back, and make sure that someone knows on the way back NOT to drive like he's in a rally car race.
  3. Follow the instruction for pre-op. If they say shave the area, shave the friggin area. You really don't want some grumpy bitch in scrubs taking a hoe to your private parts, the one who did mine apparently thought she was working in the friggin garden or scraping of her windshield.
  4. Be on time, or the above nurse will be even grumpier.
  5. Continually remind yourself the following: "My wife pushed a friggin canteloupe sized head out of her crotch, this is the least I can do" for me I thought "C-section". Of course this won't help with the pain, but it will distract you temporarily.
  6. Afterward, peas and (surprisingly) frozen bagged cooked pasta are your best friend. Put them on, keep them on, just do it, the next day you'll thank me.
  7. Don't sit on your ass all day afterwards it will just make it worse. Get up and walk around, not too too much, but the boys need their adjustments and exercise.

I swear to everything that's unholy, if I have a shaver handy and I see that nurse... she's gettin' it right back. Apparently once you're 50ish you can completely forget caring for the patient and just treat them like they have no pain receptors. I'm pretty sure the shaving will bug me longer than the incision.

Posted by Oorgo - Permalink - Category: Things | Comments (10) | TrackBack

April 20, 2006

The weight of things

I haven't been posting much this week, I seem to be otherwise distracted with every day issues: in my house, bank account, car, at work. At some time in the last 3 months I got severely behind in my bills and every time I turn around some is demanding I pay them an exhorbitant amount to continue service of some sort.

I'm working on streamlining my bills, I just signed up for Vonage Voip, which will save me $30+ a month in phone bills. I was paying $50 a month to the big T for almost nothing: about $7 worth of long distance and call display. Besides, the high speed connection is sitting there doing nothing for 80% of the day, so I might as well put it to work.

I have this car, it runs but not great, it needs work and I can't afford fixing it, and I can't afford a new car yet, probably not until Dec/Jan. The strut mounts make a racket when I'm hitting cracks in the road, and I think it needs new shocks, oh and the transmission thing is still there lurking waiting to happen again even though right now it seems to be ok. I had to plug the TCC back in because it was turning my 30 mpg car into a 22 mpg car. The next tank after plugging it back in I got an extra 80 kms on the tank!!

The house is fine, but I have to get around to mopping, crack filling, and painting the cement floor so we can move more of X-man's toys down there, HOPEfully this will happen this weekend.

That's the shit, and oh yeah one of these days I am going to create a gallery of pictures of the youngest and quickly growing oldest in my family for all to see. One of these days.

Posted by Oorgo - Permalink - Category: Things | Comments (1) | TrackBack

April 13, 2006

Job Distorted Personality

I swear, I've been changed permanently by this line of work. I used to be honest, straightforward, friendly, compassionate, and had empathy for people. I used to go out of my way, introduce myself, get to know people in my neighbourhood.

Now I avoid peoples gazes, I feel uncomfortable in rooms where I know a small proportion of the occupants. I don't go out of my way if someone needs a hand, I usually find an excuse to not be bothered. I'm "too busy" to do things that I could find the time to do. I've de-humanized myself when it comes to human interaction, and I blame tech support.

In tech support you are trained to act all sweet as pie on the phone and when you do it for long enough you come off as sincere. The instant the phone hits the cradle the muttering and ranting usually starts. In my mind I think it all leads to a distaste for people in general and a low opinion of humankind, because you talk to people everyday. I find most times by the time I get home I just want to hide out in my computer room away from people.

You can't escape in the city. You can't walk out into the field and sit and stare and de-stress. The noise follows you home, things are constantly interacting with you, things that need your attention, things that annoy the shit out of you. Then you get home and the kids are in there, and the wife, and the dog, and the dishes and the garbage and the fuckin shit you need to do in the yard.

I don't know if this is the same as every other job, I suppose you get jaded and impersonalized and untrusting too, I just know from my own experience with 6+ years in tech support. Maybe it's time to look for something else to do?

Posted by Oorgo - Permalink - Category: Things | Comments (6) | TrackBack

April 11, 2006

So this

One day
I'm walkin' along the street
and this cat comes up to me an' says
"Hey man! Where you at? You seen that dog cat?"
An' I says "Yeah man, I seen him, he's you!"
so this cat just laughs and laughs.
"Dang dog, you is one funny pig!"
I says "No man, the pig is the man, an' he is in that white house."
That cat says "No way, that man is a pig and he oughta be in the county jail!"
"Jail? Nahhh... you can't put a pig in jail! They just digs right outta there! Them noses is the snouts of justice!".
"Lame Duck man, Lame duck."

- random blatherings from my disjointed brain

Posted by Oorgo - Permalink - Category: miscellaneous | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 05, 2006

Oh the days of yore

Housekeeping Monthly.jpeg

I don't actually believe anyone could live up to these standards without exploding, or at least the throbbing vein in their head bursting.

Posted by Oorgo - Permalink - Category: Funnies | Comments (3) | TrackBack

April 04, 2006

20 days

20 days, my friends

20 days until I'm officially out of the breeding pool.

I told my wife it was a little depressing:

Her: "Why?"

Me: "Oh, it's just so final"

Her: "Well there's always adoption"

Me: "Adoption is so expensive, It's a hell of a lot cheaper to release a few hundred sperm"

I know in the end it will be better, at least after a couple months when the swimmers have all expired.

Posted by Oorgo - Permalink - Category: Things | Comments (3) | TrackBack