Oorgo

Job Distorted Personality

I swear, I've been changed permanently by this line of work. I used to be honest, straightforward, friendly, compassionate, and had empathy for people. I used to go out of my way, introduce myself, get to know people in my neighbourhood.

Now I avoid peoples gazes, I feel uncomfortable in rooms where I know a small proportion of the occupants. I don't go out of my way if someone needs a hand, I usually find an excuse to not be bothered. I'm "too busy" to do things that I could find the time to do. I've de-humanized myself when it comes to human interaction, and I blame tech support.

In tech support you are trained to act all sweet as pie on the phone and when you do it for long enough you come off as sincere. The instant the phone hits the cradle the muttering and ranting usually starts. In my mind I think it all leads to a distaste for people in general and a low opinion of humankind, because you talk to people everyday. I find most times by the time I get home I just want to hide out in my computer room away from people.

You can't escape in the city. You can't walk out into the field and sit and stare and de-stress. The noise follows you home, things are constantly interacting with you, things that need your attention, things that annoy the shit out of you. Then you get home and the kids are in there, and the wife, and the dog, and the dishes and the garbage and the fuckin shit you need to do in the yard.

I don't know if this is the same as every other job, I suppose you get jaded and impersonalized and untrusting too, I just know from my own experience with 6+ years in tech support. Maybe it's time to look for something else to do?