Oorgo

Hello past

It's odd, recently I started thinking about high school, as my 20 year reunion is coming up next year, so I got in contact with a friend of mine I've known since kindergarten (or before) by email. He's doing great, he is part owner (I think) and pharmacist for one of the drug stores in my home town, he keeps in contact with alot of the people we went to school with. We talked about old times a bit and I realized that once had I left my hometown and attended college/university I basically blocked out memory of it, high school especially, and any time preceding high school. I blocked out the good along with the bad.

The problem with that plan was I also blocked out parts of who I was. I hated 85% of high school: the crap they put you through, the cliques, the small mindedness of the people there, country music, fickle and mean people. I had a couple shit jobs there after highschool too, so I wasn't exactly prone to having good memories, of course part of the reason they were shit jobs was because I drank and partied too much but that was part of the crowd I was with. We drank to escape and to relieve the boredom; hardcore binge drinking. You can probably see my reasons for leaving it all behind.

I remember now that there were good times in amongst the shit. I remember the new friends that I did have after my junior high group of friends ejected me from the group in grade 10 and tortured me until I left them alone and more after that. I remember ... damn... I still have a hard time getting past that 20 years later, stupid memory.

It's funny how memory works, how the bad things can be so vivid and fresh, yet the good things are grey and washed out. Of the good things I remember my family the most, and my neighbors and the people in my church. I realized when I got older that my parents, especially compared to most, are wonderful, they may have been strict sometimes, but I was raised right. My neighbour Mrs Parkinson was my stand-in grandma, she was a great lady and I miss her still, and my neighbour friends The Leroux family, they were rough around the edges but great people nonetheless. Even though I later on didn't agree with all the teachings of the church, the people who attended were kind and genuinely good people

I think recalling these times has been good for me, I feel almost like there are some spaces filling in, some of my identity recovered. I've heard it said that you don't know who you are if you don't know where you're from, I wonder if that applies to blocking out where you're from.

Posted by Oorgo at October 5, 2006 12:25 PM Permalink - Category: Things | TrackBack